Thursday, April 19, 2007
oOh.. haix.. feeling rather depressed/emo/troubled now.. hope ii can lock all my unhappiness up here and be a happy mEE!!! haix.. ii m in a dilemma.. whether ii should continue in track.. tempted to join other CCAs like canoe polo, volleyball ya.. well, ii know ii shouldn't have such thoughts.. what's coming over mee?! really bad of mee.. ii don't know.. feel like ii don't really understand myself.. PASSION BEATS TALENT.. echoed in my mind.. but where's my passion? haix.. ii m sorry, NP track. sorry Jerald. sorry that ii shouldn't have such thoughts in mind. ii shouldn't give up track just of some silly thoughts. haix.. ii feel that ii m slacking.. ii can't run like what ii did in the past.. ii m growing fatter.. ii m getting slower.. there are other female runners who can doo better than mee in track.. haix.. really sad.. ii don't know why ii m saying all these stupid stuff.. but ii.. haix.. useless of mee.. ii have been psycho-ing my freshies to join track yet ii m here emo-ing.. wat the siaox! hope my freshies don't see this.. don't be affected by my words.. my silly thoughts.. haix.. really glad that Jerald, Kaymond, Linus consoled mee jus now.. if not.. guess ii might be more depressed now.. haha.. ya.. ii guess ii will.. how ii wish ii can run like in the past.. on IVP days.. or even better.. that'll be great! heex.. ii really wish for a medal.. one personal medal.. ii have gonna into finals top 8 for my 400m n 800m last year.. ii m greedy for this year.. ii wanna win a medal!! ii wanna beat NTU, SMU, n all polys!! NUS abit hard ahh.. New Fei inside ahh.. she's my idol.. superb fast runner.. haha.. hope ii can doo it.. but somehow, frankly speaking, ii m rather sad cos of my previous year's records.. ii feel that ii should push more in the 400m finals.. should have gonna 5th just like ii did for heats overall.. but ii gonna only 6th.. why didn't ii push more.. sort of blaming myself not pushing harder.. till now, the images stil reflected in my mind.. haix.. I WILL STAY WITH MY NP TRACK FAMILY!! GONNA DOO BETTER THIS YEAR!!!^o^ it's ME smiling at YOU ^o^